you’ve been hit by
you’ve been struck by
the look of horror on Deans face
i hope you like it anon <3
But! But but but!
Sam DOES follow, just not right away. Sam lives a long, prosperous, ridiculously happy life in Hobbiton with Rosie, with whom he has many children. He was mayor of Hobbiton SEVEN times until he retired at age 96, oversaw the establishment of the Shire as its own independent land, and was personally given the Star of the Dunedain by King Elessar as a gesture of friendship and love. But when Rosie passed away on Mid-Year’s day, Sam rode out from Bag End on September 22nd for the last time and finally followed Frodo to Valinor as the third and last Ringbearer to do so at the grand old age of 104.
He did exactly as Frodo asked him to. He was whole, and happy, and he enjoyed and did more than he could have ever imagined when he was a humble gardener listening in for tales of the Elves. And when he had lived out his life in peace and absolute happiness he earned his reward and followed Frodo home.
DON’T TOUCH ME OH MY ERU.
#he also pitched in on the red book#so lotr has all these kings and elves and all these lofty-ass people with humongous genealogic trees#but sam gamgee was right up there along with them#and his dad planted potatos#so you can go on a barge to heaven along with kickass elves to hang out with angels#even if your ancestry is entirely comprised of potato farmers#and the elves better listen to your spiel on the wonders of potatos#because you had the ring and freely handed it out#and those fuckers would have never been able to do that much#there’s no overstating how much of an amazing being sam gamgee was#thinking about it kinda makes me tear up even
Samwise Gamgee: Best character in the whole goddamn LoTR continuum.
Tauriel in a possibly extended scene from Desolation of Smaug.
The Four Founders of Hogwarts.
This fucked me up for a good 5 minutes.
oh my god it works
Happy Birthday, Bilbo Baggins! (September, 22nd )
there’s not enough bruce banner on my dash and i’m fixing that 1/∞
Are you fucking kidding me? Like, no, Shakespeare wouldn’t tweet a sonnet cause 140 characters is a bit short for that. Wrong medium. But you know what he would have? A very active twitter FULL OF DICK PUNS AND YOUR MOM JOKES okay. (And probably also a blog for the sonnets and longer works, that cross-posts links to twitter anyway.)
Get out of here with that pretentious anti-technology bullshit.
He’d rock the fuck out of memes. Don’t deny it.
Exit, pursued by a doge.
much run wow
I don’t understand people who try to make Shakespeare into a pretentious thing cause he was basically an uneducated dick-joke making dude for the common masses. His historical plays are straight up fanfiction. There’s a scene in Macbeth where two guards are having a conversation as a dude pees on a wall. Get out of here with your Shakespeare snobbery.
A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”
Vampire: “The fair is in town, maybe a date will help…”
human spends the whole time in the hall of mirrors
WE HAVE A NEW WINNER.